I sometimes offend people because I tell it like it is, and I can get a little too blunt. Most of the time I watch myself because I hate it when people are way too forward with me, it really depends on some people moods... but other times, I go for it anyway because what needs to be said needs to be said.

I am willing to be forward when...

Someone I love's well-being is on the line.

I have been clear about something, and a person doesn't get the hint that they're being obnoxious.

Someone I love is making stupid decisions and they need someone who isn't just going to turn a blind eye.

Usually if I find out that I have hurt someone's feelings unintentionally, I feel like a jerk and I want to instantly make it better. In the afore mentioned instances, I am willing to hurt someone's feelings (in a loving way) because something more valuable is on the line and I will not be made to feel guilty about protecting something that's precious to me. Whether it's protecting a person I love, myself, or trying to protect a person from themselves.

I know that I am talking in generalities, but in every instance, there is a person or situation that it applies to in my life. There are some things that just don't need to be broadcasted all over the internet.

My passion for Indian food and mixed drinks was renewed this afternoon. That and having some much-needed girl talk, I am incredibly satisfied right now. From lunching and talking, I have come to realize several things.

Good things come out of being vulnerable. One of the girls that we went out to lunch with, I didn't know very well, and my knee-jerk reaction was to be my amiable self and let the others do most of the deep talking. Instead, when the opportunity presented itself, I shared my struggle with transparency and our conversation remained real and we all told our stories.

I don't have to be 100% sure that someone is "the one" before even giving him a chance. The realm of dating and like subjects is hard to navigate, especially someone like me who doesn't date just to date. I don't have to take it as seriously as marriage... go figure!

North India Bar and Grill is always a smart meal choice. Always.

Boys are confusing and I have a problem. Can't I just be satisfied in knowing who I am and not require a relationship to affirm that? Once I have learned a certain lesson, I have realized that in about 6 months to a year, I end up learning the same lesson in a different way.

I think it's worth saying that the reason I began writing this blog isn't to get attention, make myself feel better than anyone else or be dramatic. As a matter of fact, I am hoping that no one really does read this. I have found that I tend to be a fairly closed off person in the sense that I have learned how to give and say what people want, but I don't easily give my trust. Giving someone my trust, for me, means that I allow them to know my emotions, my full and complete thoughts, let them see my flaws, and that whole bit. Of course, everyone does this to varying degrees, it's just that I find that my degree of being transparent isn't as open as I'd like. So in response to actually being called out on it by at least three people, and finally coming to terms with my behavior, I have started writing more honest, specific and emotional than I have in a long time.

I have always kind of been a journalizer, but I find it a fairly slow process, and how am I going to learn to go out on a limb in transparency if I keep writing in my journal and putting it away for no one to see? There are things I would never write on here, and unsent letters that will never be sent... but baby steps.

There will always be something that I say or think that might offend someone or something I think that someone might not agree with. Duh. And I just need to learn to be okay with that. I love God and I'm constantly renewing and refining my relationship with Him. Anyone who says being a Christian makes all the problems go away is a liar. Knowing that there is someone who I can trust with every part of my life really is the best coping mechanism I know of. I love people and I treat everyone with respect. I may not agree with your lifestyle or your choices, but who am I to throw the first stone? I will never condone something I believe is wrong, but I will never stop loving the person. That's who I am called to be and that's who I try to be.

I have an interview tomorrow. I want ANYTHING other than laying myself down as a welcome mat for the upper class of my city. Otherwise known as "customer service" on the wealthy part of town. Double whammy.

The superficial part of me looks forward to dressing particularly lovely to show a certain someone just what he's missing out on. I'm such a girl. Speaking of which, if I were to get this job, I would be perhaps the only girl working with mostly guys. In the completely platonic sense, this would royally rock!

I broke someone's heart today. I have a bad habit of doing that. About a year ago, men began actually paying attention to me- I don't know if it was because the men my age changed tastes, I became more attractive, or there was something in the water. At the risk of sounding superficial, ever since that point, I have come to realize how many men are not in my league. It's not to say that I am better than a lot of people, just different. This one is a little too serious, that one acts like I did when I was in high school. Because of the realization that not every man that looks my way is my type or wants the same thing, I have also come to learn not to lead them on.


When I began this adventurous season in my life, I was so enthralled with the affirmation, looks and compliments, that I could hardly stop myself from letting them carry on. Now, I know the damage it can do to the one or two that really invest themselves in me and I actually do hurt. I am different from other people my age. People my age like to date. Period. Dating, having sex, and having fun is what they're after, and if anything more comes out of it, then what a lovely perk. If not, no harm done. Being in a relationship with someone means something to me. After talking with some of my friends, I have come to realize what makes me different from them is that I look further into the future than how someone makes me feel. I am a very sarcastic person, I can talk to anyone and I can be really anyone's friend, but my "standards" are much higher for any potential boyfriend. The way I see it, anyone I date is my potential husband, and I filter accordingly. Why waste my time on someone who I find out really isn't a fit for me six months down the road?