Struggling Still Indicates Trying

It may be the consistent sleep deprivation or listening to the more mellow selections of my Pandora, but a discontent has seized me. I have recently come to the discovery that I am an advocate. A voice for the people who don't, and a representative for those who are displaced. I used to be upset and confused as to why I never seemed to fit into any particular niche. My groups of friends are incredibly eclectic, and I wondered if it was normal not to identify more with one than all the others, and then I came to a greater discovery: I am designed to bridge those niches. Maybe not quite proactively (because even though I know it's happening, I can't see it in the process)... or maybe I should be more proactive than I am. I may or may not have been born with the personality of an advocate, but I can tell you with certainty that it's something that God is continually shaping in me. When I realized this about myself, I was excited and quite relieved, for the simple fact that I finally came up with an accurate description to what I had been feeling this whole time- the shift, the change, the growth.

Then I come to moments like now. What human being can completely avoid comparing themselves to the people around them? It's hardwired in our psyche- whether we put action to our thoughts is a different story- to bookmark where we are in relation to the people we are surrounded with. "Shoot, I'm not as badass as her, but at least I'm not as sheltered as him... and how on earth did she end up with someone as awesome as that guy?!" I understand it is human nature to detour into a thought process/logic like this... but as a believer, isn't this what I was put on this earth to rise above? (Thank you, Katherine Hepburn.) Like a runner of a race, I have many things like this in my peripheral vision, but if I didn't put those fleeting distractions behind me, I would never get where I'm going.

Do I focus on fleeting things in the corner of my eye? Sometimes. Do I occasionally get depressed or discouraged? Absolutely. Do I let my personal issues and wounds shift into my priorities to dwell on after I've dealt with them. Pfft, no.